My top time management tips

Since I now allegedly have more time on my hands (I closed my home business to focus more on my family) I thought I would share my top time management tips with you!

Time management is something I have worked a lot on over these past few years. I want to squeeze the most I can out of every precious day! And I've found a formula that really works - at least for me! Here it is!

1. Have a to-do list

This gives your day direction and eliminates wasting time by wondering "What should I do now/next" - my favourite way to put off actually doing something!! I usually make mine first thing in the morning over a big mug of tea before the kids wake up!

2. Only put on the list what is actually achievable in a day

There is nothing more satisfying that crossing the final item off your list. Conversely there is nothing worse than the feeling of failure at surveying a half-completed list at the end of the day. I only put on my list what I know I can reasonably do in a day. That means I increase my chances of finishing it - and if I finish early (which I sometimes do!) I have guilt-free free time and can enjoy it knowing that everything that needs to be done is done...at least for today!

3. Don't be a slave to your list

Things don't always go according to plan, especially if you have kids around so be willing to change your plans and adapt accordingly. Sometimes that means letting things on your list (or the entire list!) wait to tomorrow. Trying to cram the extra things on just adds to the stress. Time management is not all about being a slave to a schedule. A to do list is meant to help to structure your day and ensure you get important things done, not become a strait-jacket (I learned this the hard way!!)

4. Don't take on too many different things

I am becoming increasingly convinced that multi-tasking is a myth! When I try to spread myself too thin and do too many different things, I end up stressed out and flustered with a trail of half-finished tasks in my wake. It is better to do a few things well  than many things badly. Figure out what is really important to you and spend the bulk of your time on those.

5. Don't be afraid to say no

Even with the best time management strategy in place, there are still on 24 hours in a day (and most of us could probably do with spending a few more of them sleeping!!) It is not wrong to say "no" to opportunities which come our way, even those which are good things in and of themselves. If done graciously and honestly, you will not offend the asker. When presented with an opportunity, take time to think about it (and pray about it if you are a praying person!) before responding.


Time management is a constant struggle for us all, especially as the world is getting ever faster and more demanding. Multiple things compete for our attention every day. We need to be careful to spend our time on what is truly important (and necessary of course - jobs, cleaning etc have to be done!) so that we do not look back on this season of our lives with regret.

A new era begins!

Today was a new beginning for me.....my first day as just a stay at home mum! Until today I was a stay at home mum with a little sewing business on the side, but over the weekend I made the decision to put that on hold for the time being.

There are several reasons for this, not least of all obedience to God. Over the last few months, I have felt God speaking to me, telling me that this is not His will for me right now, that it is shifting my focus from where it needs to be in this season - my family.

With a two year old and a 6 month old baby, life is busy and time is at a premium. Maybe you have noticed that I haven't been around here much. My blog was pushed further and further down my to do list as any free time I had was absorbed my my business and the associated admin. My first love however will always be writing, so I'm glad to be back!

It strikes me how much like my two year old I am. When I ask him to get ready for bed or tidy his toys, he responds exactly as I did to God. You see, when I first began to be convicted that I should close my business - at least for now - my first response was to pretend I didn't hear God, like a two year old who sticks his fingers in his ears and hums! Then slowly I agreed "Ok God, but I just wanna launch this new range first and sign up for these few craft fairs and ......" You get the idea! I was just like my toddler who decides he needs to use the potty, get a cold drink, find a particular toy...ANYTHING to delay doing what he was told.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that having a home business is somehow wrong for a stay at home mum, but just for me, just at this time, in this pre-school season, it is not the right thing. And although it knocked my pride a little to close it (cos now I no longer have the "and I also have my own business" comeback to throw at those who pity me/patronise me for being a stay at home mummy!) I was so exited this morning about all the opportunities I would have with my "extra" time - the things I would do with the kids, the places we would go, the surprises we would arrange for Daddy etc etc but already I have a feeling that it is just not going to turn out that way! Today on my first "slower" day, we had three different sets of people drop by to chat, the kids refused to sleep at naptime and honestly I got even less done than usual! But never mind! Tomorrow is a new day!!!

Rethinking Romance

I spent my teenage years giggling over soppy films with my friends and staying up late into the night reading romance novels. I knew exactly the sort of husband I wanted - a man with the faith of Clark from "Love Comes Softly", the dashing good looks of Mr Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice" and the looks of Freddie Prinze Jr (I was a child of the 90s!!) Of course he also had to have a great sense of humour and be really fun to hang out with! In fact, during one extremely boring chemistry lesson, my best friend and I drew up a "Perfect Man" list, with all the qualities we wanted in a husband. There were 14 things on my list!!

Now, before you start to laugh, I'll have you know that my husband is 12 of those 14 things! He may not have a Scottish accent (no.9) nor does he own a skateboard (I know, I know! It was a phase!!) but he is a fun-to-be-with, godly man who I happen to think is pretty darn handsome!!

But he ISN'T romantic. Not in the classical sense anyway. No flowers, no chocolates, no love letters (unless I suggest them, but that kinda spoils it doesn't it?!) He doesn't whisk me away on surprise dates, bring me breakfast in bed nor spend hours gazing into my eyes. And you know what, those things weren't even on my list because I assumed they were a GIVEN! My diet of romance novels and soppy films led me to assume that if he really loved me, all these things were automatic! As you can imagine, I was in for a shock!!

At first, it caused some tension in our marriage. He felt my expectations were unrealistic (they were!) and I felt like he didn't really love me (stoopid!) Then I realised that my husband DOES show his love for me in a zillion ways, I just refused to recognise it because they weren't what I expected. Like taking out the recycling. I HATE taking out the recycling! There is no reason for this - the bin is just a few steps from the door and most of the time it isn't even raining! But for some reason, I really dislike doing it and knowing that, I often go to do it only to find that my Hubby has already done it! Swoon! Last week I was at my wits end with our toddler (see previous post!) and Hubby offered to take care of the kids for the evening so I could run over to a friends house for a cup of tea and a giggle. It was a sacrifice for him to do this as he had a lot to do that evening, but he made the offer because he loves me and could see I needed a break. I could give you a ton of similar little examples similar to these!

We are just about to celebrate our 6th Wedding Anniversary and without doubt this is the greatest lesson I have learned - appreciate the little things and look for romance in unlikely places. It is hiding everywhere if only we can recognise it! Don't waste your time pining after Mr Darcy. Love the man you have and pay attention to the ways he expresses his love for you because they may not be what you expect!

And while I won't pretend that a bunch of roses wouldn't be a welcome surprise occasionally, I am feel so loved to have a man who makes me a cup of tea when I am tired, feeds the chickens when it is raining and swings by the shop for milk without complaining when I have forgotten (again!)

Potty Training Woes

It has been a few weeks since I have posted and the reason is potty training! My 2 1/2 year old boy has always been stubborn, but he really seems to have kicked it up a notch since we said goodbye to nappies! He decided himself that he would like to stop wearing nappies and start wearing pants. "Great!" I thought and armed with stickers, a reward chart and sweeties we embarked on potty training! I figured we would have a few days of mayhem and then he would get the hang of it....I was wrong!!

Potty training has turned into a power struggle. He knows when he needs to go, but he refuses to go on the potty or in the toilet. He will sit on both quite happily but hangs on until he gets up and straight away pees on the floor, gleefully crowing "It wasn't an accident!" I'm at my wits end.

The Lord has taught me a lot through these early years of motherhood, but I wasn't prepared for the humbling experience potty training would be. It has brought out the worst in me. First, impatience. Then selfishness, making it all about me. "Why should I have to clean this up AGAIN? You could just DO IT IN THE POTTY!!!" And finally, a bad temper which I thought I had conquered years ago. "ARGHHHHH NOT AGAIN!!" These have not been pretty things to face up to in myself, but I know yet again the Lord is teaching me through these experiences and challenging me to be patient and long-suffering as He is with me.

Absolutely as my wits end this morning, a verse popped into my head and was like balm to my soul. "My grace is sufficient for you" the Lord reminded me. Yes, God's grace is sufficient for all things.....even potty training!

That said, if anyone out there has any potty-training wisdom to offer, I would sure love to hear it!!!

A New Passion!

One of the reasons I call myself a retro wife is that I seem to enjoy things which have fallen out of fashion for young women. Sewing and baking have been somewhat rehabilitated among twenty and thirty-somethings, but my latest love, gardening, has a long way to go!

I come from a stock of gardeners. My grandmother had a beautiful acre of gardens with flower beds, a fish pond, a rockery, her own strawberry patch and lush green lawns. I spent a lot of time as a child trailing around after her "helping" to weed (pulling out plants and picking flowers mostly!) but I got the bug! And I'm not the only one! 4 of her 5 daughters are also green-fingered.

Now, while I have had the bug for two decades, it is only recently that I have been turned loose on a garden of my own. And I still have the "L Plates" on! Yesterday we gathered our courage and headed to the favourite destination of pensioners across Britain - the Garden Centre!! And despite being the only people there who didn't have silver hair, we had a lot of fun!!

We already had a fair idea of what we wanted having studied our "Flowering Shrub Expert", a gem of a book gifted to us by my mother-in-law and also made an emergency call to my aunt (one of the aforementioned 5 daughters!) to ask "Whats the red stick-y thing?!". Turned out it was a dogwood - good to know as I'd have been a bit embarrassed to describe it like that to the very helpful lady at the garden centre! I had already suffered through the indignity on a previous occasion of asking for "those purple ball-y things on wee sticks" (Allium!) Google only helps if you already know the name of the plant!

So we came home £50 lighter, carrying a Butterfly Bush, a Dogwood, a Potentilla (wonderfully named Mango Tango) and a Japonica as well as some pretty little polyanthus to plants among my grape hyacinths. I'm really excited about planting them (hopefully tomorrow!) The trick is now not to kill them - no mean feat for a woman affectionately known as the House Plant Murderer!!

Daring to Be Different!

“What on earth do you do all day?!”

If I had a penny for every time I was asked that question, I could furnish my home with all those beautiful pieces of furniture and vintage accessories I have saved on Pinterest for “someday when we can afford it”.

People are often surprised that at just 28 years old, I’m a full time housewife. Yes, I am quite aware that this is the twenty-first century (though thank you for reminding me) and it’s not that we are so well off that I don’t need to work. It’s just that we choose to make do with less so I can be here.

Actually, I prefer to describe my occupation using the American term “homemaker”. Because that is what I do all day – I make our home what it is. Of course, the mundane chores have to be done – can anyone honestly say they enjoy cleaning the bathroom? – but that’s only a tiny part of what homemaking entails. The rest is much more fun! So I guess you could say my home is my career. But it is also more than that.

 My home embodies a way of life. It is a place my husband hurries home to after a tough day. It is a place where friends are always welcome and the kettle is always on. It is a place where memories are made, victories are celebrated (however small) and problems are overcome together. It is a place where we are careful to focus the things that really matter.

Of course, my home is not perfect.  There are rooms still waiting to be decorated. There are sticky finger prints on the furniture thanks to our active toddler.  The ironing basket is never empty. There is a room whose door I rush to close when unexpected visitors arrive (we all have one of those, don’t we?! Like all families, we sometimes argue - after all, home is the place there you can truly be yourself, annoying habits and all. It isn’t always tranquil and harmonious. But my home is cosy and comfortable. It is full of love and laughter. It is our sanctuary from a world that insists on getting faster all the time.

My home represents everything that makes me who I am. It is where I take care of those I love, indulge my love of pretty things and stretch my creativity to the limits, cooking, baking, gardening and sewing on a tight budget. It is a place where I can truly be myself and it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks.

So when you look at me in surprise and say “You’re a housewife?” don’t be tempted to pity me.  I love being at home. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.

Welcome!

Well, here goes, my very first post on The Retro Wife Project blog!


Let me introduce myself! My name is Deborah. I'm 28 years old and married with two beautiful children - a 2 year old boy and a 2 month old baby girl. I am blessed to be a stay at home mum and love every minute of it!

I often joke that I was born several decades too late. I love to cook, clean (yes really!), sew and garden and reckon I would have made a great 1950s housewife! Hence the Retro Wife moniker!

I hope you will join me as I chronicle the ups and downs of everyday life as a 21st Century British housewife! As well as my ramblings about happenings at The House On The Hill (aka my home!), I will be sharing some of my favourite recipes and sewing tutorials alongside bits and pieces related to my passions - books, interior design, gardening and homemaking! I'd love you to share your tips and recipes too! I look forward to meeting you! :)